Why this took me so long to realize, I don't know. I forget my successes if I never write them, forget that I'm more capable than I give myself credit for.
Like this: I will mentally harass myself for being late to something, because it is my worst habit and I'm only just beginning to break it. But I'll forget that I completed that assignment and got an outstanding grade because I worked hard for it and earned it.
There are these things that I write about teaching my someday students: how to find their voice, to tell their stories. Then I go and forget to practice these things myself. How can I someday expect my students to believe that their voices are worth hearing if I don't act on that belief about myself?
That's part of why blogger and I took so much time apart in recent months. I have been looking for my voice, trying to recapture it so that I can try to teach others to find their voices, too. That exploration came in fits and starts and although I haven't moved past my wordy sentences or over-reliance on clichés or weak verbs, my voice is making its way through onto paper and computer screen.
And that's what matters: putting words down, no matter how unpolished.