why untitled, unwritten?

I once labeled everything before it was written, until I found it kept too many words away. Now I am leaving the unwritten untitled, until it grows into a name.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Days Like This


Days like this,
You look up at the sky above you.
Days like this,
You think about the ones that love you.

All I wanna do is live my life honestly;
I just wanna wake up and see your face next to me.
Every regret I have I will go set it free;
It will be good for me.



Days like this,
You think about the ones who went before you.
Days like this,
Have you ever seen the sky such a clear blue?

All I wanna do is live my life honestly;
I just wanna wake up and see your face next to me.
Every regret I have I will go set it free;
It will be good for me.


Days like this,
You think about the ones who love you.
Days like this,
Have you ever seen the sky such a clear blue?

Over the Rhine, "Days Like This," the sort of song you listen to on a day when you're saying goodbye...



Images: the sky on one side of our house and the other: low midmorning sun in the east, clear blue and feathery-clouded skies in the west

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Papa, Part 2: Grinning

My Papa had this smile when he said something funny--his eyes would narrow, he'd tilt his head back just the slightest bit, and grin: mouth open, teeth apart, a sound away from a chuckle.  We didn't always get his jokes and so we usually relied on that full-face grin to know when he made a joke.  Even if the joke wasn't funny,  his expression was enough to make us laugh.

A lot of his jokes were mildly inappropriate (as in, kids wouldn't catch it), only slightly related to the conversation at hand, and quite frequently political.  Oma would usually shake her head at him (and roll her eyes, though I don't know if she realized it) and say (smiling but trying to look stern) "Frank!" in a chiding voice.  We'd all share a look and a laugh while he chuckled to himself.

And if you told a joke, and it made him laugh, his face would take on the same grin and then he'd tilt his head back further and laugh.  It was an "ahh-ha-ha-ha" kind of wheezing laugh, and I remember him slapping his knee (or the table).  He'd alway follow it with "very good, (your name--or your mother/sister/cousin/aunt's name--here), very good."

In my head, I hear his voice saying those words as I write and remember them.

We laid him to rest on Saturday.  We surrounded Oma with all of our love for her and him and each other and sobbed when the bagpipes played and laughed when scattering the ashes proved more difficult than we'd planned--as most of his plans always turned out to be.  Still, we managed--he'd surely say very good, everyone, very good.

And it was beautiful and fitting.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Papa, Part 1: Grocery Shopping

I used to drive my Papa to do his grocery shopping.  It was never because they needed more food--their two upstairs freezers were overflowing and the downstairs one was full until Cory and I moved in.  He wanted specific things, always: kefir, pickled herring, low sodium tomato sauce, and whatever happened to be on manager's special that day.  When my unofficial little sister, Abby, who considered him her adopted grandfather, began to drive him to do his errands, he even bought sushi that was discounted because it expired that day.  We always laughed about his finds and would secretly discard them at times because they were a little too old to eat.

When Papa and I went to Aldi, he would occupy the entire aisle with his wheelchair and the cart.  I always found myself apologizing to people as he ran into them or blocked their way--it was never on purpose.  He was always on the hunt.  And he would always get something for the person who drove him--a diet coke for me, a chocolate bar for Abby, and so on.  We once went to Sam's Club, where the motorized scooters are equipped with a loud beeping sound for whenever their driver backs up.  When he backed up directly into another customer's cart, which then rolled into her, he didn't notice--by then, he couldn't swivel his head anyway.  Thankfully, the woman just smiled and went on her way.  After that, I was sure not to let him out of my sight.

And whenever I drove him anywhere--Aldi, Sam's, or Meijer--he would tell me how much more each item he found would cost at Kroger, and how much better the food quality was than Wal-Mart.  He was one of those people who would rather drive across town to spend fifty cents less on a gallon of milk than buy it nearby--even when the cost of gas alone would make the trip cost more than he was actually saving.

Papa was set on being supplied against anything.  I think it is the result of being a desperately poor child during the Great Depression, living during the Cold War (true story: my Oma was pregnant with my mom and her twin sisters, and in the basement storage area in their Chicago apartment building, he set up a place to deliver the baby--they didn't know there were two yet), and being the sort of person who always has a plan.

Five or six years ago, I decided that our family motto was this: We're Walkers.  We come prepared and then go shopping.  Also, we tend to keep everything.

Will you let me reminisce over all the silly and wonderful things about my eccentric, slightly crazy, brilliant, and dearly missed grandfather?

Thank you.